I don’t know how to deal with myself

anxiety |aNGˈzī-itē|

noun ( pl. anxieties )a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome

• Psychiatry a nervous disorder characterized by a state of excessive uneasiness and apprehension, typically with compulsive behavior or panic attacks.

depression |diˈpreSHən|

noun

severe despondency and dejection, typically felt over a period of time and accompanied by feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy.• Medicine a condition of mental disturbance characterized by such feelings to a greater degree than seems warranted by the external circumstances,typically with lack of energy and difficulty in maintaining concentration orinterest in life: clinical depression.

Sometimes, I sit down and think of who I am, what I really feel. What to do with what I feel. Having anxiety attacks and a feeling of depression due to stress isn’t doing me any good. I’ve been depressed and insecure for a long  time now. I don’t know how to address what I feel or how I feel. I don’t know how to tell people how and what I’m feeling. I tell them I get anxiety attacks. I do. I always do. I cry when anxiety attacks. I ask myself why yet I can’t find the answer. I don’t know why. I don’t know how to deal with myself. I ask for help but when people offers to listen, I push them away and I tell them I’m fine. I tell myself I’m fine. I don’t like this. I don’t like what I’m doing to myself. I don’t like this feeling of being alone. I know I am not alone. But I always feel alone. It’s just hard. I always feel that I don’t have friends. But I know I do. I just don’t feel it. I can’t explain why. I don’t know what to do anymore. I know I need help. But I keep on denying it. I don’t know what’s gonna happen next. I believe that this isn’t due to stress anymore actually. Something’s wrong with me and I need to know what it is. I need to find the answer. I need to know why I am so depressed and why I am acting like this. I want to be my old self again. I don’t know what I’m saying. I just need help. Help.

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6 thoughts on “I don’t know how to deal with myself

  1. elenasaidwhat says:

    Hi twin. >:D< I think the first step would be to let us help you. Welcome people in, don't push away. If you don't know how to talk about something maybe a song can interpret your feelings? I'm here for you always & know we (me+our friends&fam) love you ♥

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